men are insanimals

…Sure!

Poetic + worldly = swoon.

PS: Really glad he clarified that the PS is not a haiku; now I’m not baffled by this message in the least!

You sound like a lot of fun, too!

Yes, the best thing right now is definitely for you to PayPal me.  I’ll be in touch about that friendship…

10.5 inches, orgasmic, AND he can fly!  

No questions necessary.  This message tells me everything I need to know.

It’s time for you to stop messaging girls and buy a Realdoll.

Yes, but I won’t let you cut me open until the third date.

This just in: an Ivy League education doth not a sane man make.

That’s all very well, but if you’re going to pay me with oreos and red wine, why do I need to bring snacks?  I CALL BULLSHIT.